Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Movie Mood Fixers

How to solve all your problems using only a few carefully selected films and perhaps a block of Cadbury Fruit & Nut chocolate.

Movies to watch when… You feel as though all your creativity/inspiration/motivation/ability to do anything remotely successful have all evaporated

Winner: Legally Blonde
Legally Blonde is an excellent movie that will have you jumping off the couch and running off to do important, productive stuff. Elle Woods, a lip-gloss wearing, dog toting sorority girl smashes female stereotypes to teeny tiny pieces in this film. Swapping from fashion major to student at Harvard Law School? Not a problem. “What, like it’s hard?” she says, when her ex-boyfriend incredulously asks, “You got into Harvard Law?”

She goes on to prove the innocence of a convicted murderer, gets the real killer to confess, and graduates with honours. All while dressing incredibly and providing us with delights such as “The Bend and Snap.” This, for those of you who don’t know, is a move with a 98% success rate of getting a man’s attention.

Basically, the message to be gained from this movie is that if Elle Woods can get into Harvard using a video of herself floating around a pool in a sparkly bikini, you can do anything.

Runner Up: We Bought a Zoo
Yep, you guessed it. In this movie, writer Benjamin Mee buys a dilapidated zoo, complete with lions and tigers and bears (oh my), and moves in with his family. Against all odds they restore it and reopen it to the public.  The fact that it’s based on a true story makes it even better. Time to get inspired, guys.

Movies to watch when…You are being a bit of a misery guts

Winner: Valentine’s Day
This is my go to movie when I feel I am about to emotionally eat my way through a tub of Sara Lee Ultra Chocolate ice-cream. It has everything. Taylor Swift’s terrible yet endearing dance moves. A little boy who buys roses for his teacher. An adorable old couple who have been together for years and years. And Ashton Kutcher. How can you be upset when you’re watching a movie starring Ashton Kutcher? That’s right. You can’t be.

Warning: If your sadness stems from romantic troubles, it’s probably best to steer clear of this movie or you may find yourself throwing chocolates at the screen, à la the previously mentioned Elle Woods. For more appropriate options, please see below.

Runner Up: The Princess Diaries (1 or 2, take your pick)
Simply because if Julie Andrews and Anne Hathaway can’t cheer you up, I don’t know what can.

Movies to watch when… Things are not going so well on the romantic front

Winner: 500 Days of Summer  
This is an excellent movie to watch if you’re going through a bit of a tough break up. It’s a romantic comedy but it refreshingly does not involve a shirtless Matthew McConaughey or a montage of a couple sharing popcorn at the movies and smooching on the kiss cam at a baseball game.

Furthermore, you will be able to easily empathise with leading man Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) when he gets his heart broken by his co-worker, Summer. You can banish some of your anger and/or sadness by living vicariously through Tom as he smashes dishes in his kitchen. Most importantly, you can find comfort in the fact that even people as beautiful as Joseph Gordon – Levitt get dumped.

Runner Up: John Tucker Must Die
This movie is terribly cheesy and made primarily for a bunch of 13 year old girls to watch in their One Direction pyjamas at a sleepover. However, it is strangely satisfying to watch a group of girls humiliate the devious, cheating John Tucker by secretly giving him estrogen and tricking him into wearing ladies underwear in public. Give it a shot.

1 comment:

  1. YES. Nailed it! These movies rock. I'm especially fond of Princes Diaries. Nothing beats eating a bowl full of nachos followed by a packet of red snakes whilst watching Anne Hathaway become a princess. Bliss.


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